This is a breeze to read but hard to carry out. Worth it though.
1. Be friendly but never expect others to be friendly to you.
2. Be kind but never expect others to be kind to you.
3. Be truthful but never expect others to be truthful to you.
4. Be genuine but never expect others to be genuine to you.
5. Be considerate but never expect others to be considerate to you.
6. Be generous but never expect others to be generous to you.
7. Be humble but never expect others to be humble to you.
8. Be helpful but never expect others to be helpful to you.
9. Be sensitive but never expect others to be sensitive to you.
10. Be loving but never expect others to love you in return.
“Woah, how can you possibly be free of expectations.” Well you can’t. But you can choose who to expect from. Here’s a hint, they are very close to you. It’s just like fear. While you can’t completely get rid of it, you can, control which not to fear.
Disappointment comes from expectations. And so is betrayal. The less you expect from people the better. For me personally, I expect nothing from my friends. Close friends included. I enjoy being emotionally independent and I can’t get that by having expectations on people I have no control over.
So why do you want to be nice to people? Being nice to others makes you appreciate yourself more besides attracting others to be nice to you in return. And you will feel at peace knowing you harm no one. Now isn’t that what we are looking for? Happiness, love and peace at heart?
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Nice article. I wonder how you came up with that 273%
Oscar – freestyle mind´s last blog ..The Zero Hour Workweek By Jonathan Mead
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I did a thorough research in Germany, spent a fortune just to get that number…..
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interesting approach here. You may want to make the time to do an article on each point. As several people have their own definitions of each of these, and not all definitions are correct. Some double checking on what it is to love, and what it is to be humble, could make a huge difference for somebody.
Justin Dixon´s last blog ..The Hidden Value of Difficulties
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You caught me Justin. I got lazy. To be honest with you, each point can be made a post. But i figure why not run it down to a list for easy read, while i plan for the post some other time
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11. be you but never try to be you. this is who i am, take it or leave it. unleash your glory and let it shine baby
alex – unleash reality´s last blog ..Dancing Stories and Real Life
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Karlil, I hear you. Freeing yourself from expectations is the purest form of “being”. And the authenticity that emanates from simply being, with no expectations of reciprocity, is so compelling that, before you know it, people around you freely and naturally give back to you what you give them. Make sense?
Belinda Munoz´s last blog ..ALL CLEAR: FeedMedic Alert for thehalfwaypoint
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Perfectly said Belinda. There is no need to add any than what you have written. Your comment just wrap this whole post.
I wish the RSS readers come and read this.
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I’m pondering the long-term effects of this… I’m not quite sure I agree. I think if your expectations are low, people will get used to your expectations being low and act accordingly, giving (in a broad sense) what you expect.
Nothing.
Good thought process though, but the more I think about it the more I honestly think it is wrong.
Charles´s last blog ..Celebrating 20 years of shotokan karate.
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Hi Charles. I certainly get what you mean. It’s certainly reasonable that when you expect less, the less people give.
But this is only valid if you keep the problem to yourself. If for example, your friend is not there for you when you’re there for him when he needed you. Instead of getting mad about it, you can talk to him.
Don’t expect doesn’t mean don’t want. Low expectations is only used to avoid the feeling of disappointment and betrayal.
Like i said earlier, I don’t expect anything from my friends. And to be honest with you, when i feel they are not being good friends, I just cut them off unless they meant something to me. But here’s the thing, I don’t feel disappointed or betrayed. They are just being themselves and I’m just being me. I understand your point of view though.
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Nice, punchy list Karlil – and useful discussion re expectations.
You really got me thinking…what do I expect, if anything from my friends:
Well…
I expect them to contribute to our relationship. A friendship without mutual contribution is an acquaintance.
However, if that expectation isn’t met, rather than get disappointed (which has no place for me), I lower my expectations of that person i.e. they become an acquaintance, and that’s OK.
Rather than expectations, I guess you could say that we have personal standards.
Best to you, Robin
Robin Dickinson´s last blog ..Moving ovation for a hero: Jobs thanks his life-giver
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Hi Karlil,
Much clearer that way thanks, and nice post!
In short, if there is something to build on with someone it’s great, if not, it’s OK, just move on.
My slow mind is a bit quicker in the morning
Charles´s last blog ..Celebrating 20 years of shotokan karate.
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Thanks for the comments guys. Glad you like the article
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Nice post. Happiness is truly a state of mind and your list is a great stepping stone to feel happy. finding a purpose in life, by pursing your passion can get you the happiness you righteously deserve.
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Thanks Karlil for this excellent summary of becoming more happy – I already feel 273% happier!
I can concur with have you say about having low expectations from “friends” – we expect little but from true friends we will get a lot more back anyway. Otherwise as you and others above have said, we move on from that friendship.
Another great point is the one made above by Belinda Munoz about being authentic. It really is so true that if you just be authentic and yourself, people will definitely get who you are – and the world will become your oyster.
So my summary of how to become happy, incorporating your points is to be authentic, self-contained and have zero expectations from others.
Thanks again for a thought provoking post.
Arvind Devalia´s last blog ..Why it is Okay to Blow your own Trumpet!
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Thanks for the comment guys. I’m glad you guys feel the same.
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I love your new website design.
Matt´s last blog ..How to do setup on cctv network
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Sometimes I feel I knnow what to do, but dont have the motivation and mental strength to do it. Help! Beautiful post, though, if you face the world with no expectations, everything and everyone is a pleasant surprise
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Krishna´s last blog ..Attention is energy – the one tip to reach your goals
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