Perfecting Your Smile

by Karlil

smile

Do you have trouble liking other people?

I’m an introvert by nature. For as long as I remember, pulling a sincere smile when meeting someone has never been easy.

    The key to a sincere smile however, is simple. It’s to be excited. But that’s the source of the problem. Being introvert that I am, when meeting people, instead of being excited, I often feel distracted, wary, or self-absorbed.

    But we all know having friends are important. The more you have, the more opportunities you get. Whether it’s job opportunities, a romantic relationship, business partner, or even a partner in crime….

    So where does smile fit in, in this algorithm. A smile is important to make others feel comfortable. I’m not talking about a perfunctory grimace we pull to cashiers or waiters. I’m talking about those wide smiles you make when meeting old friends.

    So I’ve discovered a trick. I call this technique, “Omg it’s Jamie!”

    When I meet someone, I imagine an old friend of mine call Jamie. She was my first crush back when I was still a snot kid down the street. It’s no secret why my smile is as wide as I can possibly make. And it’s not just the smile, my tone and attitude turn warmer as well.

    And the best part, whenever you’re friendly to others, they turn friendly in return. You’re not hearing this from me. A research done actually back this claim. So do remember to give it a try.

    PS: It goes without saying that you should have “Jamie” changed to whoever you feel like meeting the most out of your list of long lost friends.

    Photo Credit: Shashomasho

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    { 23 comments… read them below or add one }

    1 Steven Aitchison December 7, 2009 at 6:00 am

    Hi Nik, that’s a good little trick to perfecting that smile and remember smile with your eyes as well and I imagine your little trick will automatically make you smile with your eyes as well.
    Steven Aitchison´s last blog ..The Passion Paradox – A Response My ComLuv Profile

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    2 Karlil December 7, 2009 at 6:08 am

    It does automatically make my eyes smile Steven. Though that is still a good reminder to have.

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    3 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills December 7, 2009 at 8:08 am

    Hi Nik, nice little association technique. Steve makes a good point. Most of our communication is nonverbal, so remember to smile with all your body language . One more thing, do you think Jamie will read your post? I bet you’re smiling now!
    Jonathan – Advanced Life Skills´s last blog ..Is Your Integrity For Sale? My ComLuv Profile

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    4 Karlil December 7, 2009 at 8:12 am

    Haha. You bet I am Jon. I won’t be writing her name out if I’m positive she will be reading this. Though I won’t lie that I secretly do wished she did.

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    5 Ken Kurosawa December 7, 2009 at 10:07 am

    Using my first crush as a smile inducer might make me blush too!
    Great idea none the less!
    Ken Kurosawa´s last blog ..Benefits of Simplifying Your Life My ComLuv Profile

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    6 Karlil December 7, 2009 at 10:13 am

    I’m sure it would for everyone else. Thanks for the comment Ken.

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    7 Lana - DreamFollowers Blog December 7, 2009 at 12:55 pm

    Great tip Nik, totally agree when we smile sincerely, the vibration that comes out of us changes and the person will subconsciously feel it and want to return the favor.
    Lana – DreamFollowers Blog´s last blog ..Finding Your Life Purpose: Do You Know What You Stand For? My ComLuv Profile

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    8 Gordie Rogers December 7, 2009 at 1:09 pm

    OMG, it’s JFK! Lol!

    I love this piece of advice, Karlil. I will use this piece of advice for sure.
    Gordie Rogers´s last blog ..Lifestyle Design – Three Ways To Know You’re Ready! My ComLuv Profile

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    9 Karlil December 7, 2009 at 1:14 pm

    @Lana
    Yea, and I do have experience to back up that claim too Lana. I’m just too lazy to write about it. :)

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    10 Karlil December 7, 2009 at 1:22 pm

    @Gordie
    Hopefully you’ll find it useful Gordie.

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    11 Dragos Roua December 7, 2009 at 1:28 pm

    Never knew about this trick, Nik, but it seems it’s actually working… I will search for my “Jamie” and put her to work whenever I feel the need to smile. We all have our “Jamie” deep down, your post just reminded us to search for her :-)
    Dragos Roua´s last blog ..25 Things To Do in Your Life My ComLuv Profile

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    12 Valerie December 8, 2009 at 12:07 am

    Karlil!

    Loved this post. I feel ya, because I am an introvert too. And you’re so right. When I’m around people I don’t know or I’m not close to, I do tend to get a little nervous, which distracts me from smiling. Thanks for this tip, I never thought of it.

    You know what’s funny though? I have a hard time smiling around strangers, but I have no problems laughing out loud out of no where! I’m sure I’ve scared a lot of people doing that.

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    13 Walter December 8, 2009 at 9:12 am

    I have this strategy too! My source of inspiration is the bright smile of my one year old son. :-)

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    14 Charles December 10, 2009 at 1:59 am

    Ohhh I haven’t been here in too long sorry :(

    Wait I just unsmiled! :)

    Just a quick thought, I give cashiers and waiters very nice smiles! Really! Now I’ll see the difference after thinking OMG it’s…

    I still have to pick who … will be though. Tough choice.
    Charles´s last blog ..zCoach – Free Diet and Fitness Tracker My ComLuv Profile

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    15 preityhani85 December 10, 2009 at 11:13 am

    Karlil…

    Some people told me that i don’t have a nice smile…. but for me, whether u have a nice smile or not, the important thing is sincerity of your smile….:D

    agree with your words, “…whenever you’re friendly to others, they turn friendly in return.” because I believe that smile can show how tough your relations are…
    preityhani85´s last blog ..AKU JUGA MANUSIA…. My ComLuv Profile

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    16 Staci J. Shelton December 12, 2009 at 6:09 am

    I love this! As an introvert who took a very long time to overcome and learn the art of” touch and go”, I appreciate you sharing this awesome rip. I struggled for years learning to allow the love within me shine! I love this technique! It will certainly come in handy for tons of folks!! Thank you!
    Staci J. Shelton´s last blog ..Why Me vs. Show Me My ComLuv Profile

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    17 Stephen - Rat Race Trap December 13, 2009 at 10:48 pm

    Hi Nik, I loved this little story and tip. Just thinking about you thinking about Jamie made me smile. :-)
    Stephen – Rat Race Trap´s last blog ..Are We Disconnecting From Real Life? My ComLuv Profile

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    18 Miche - Serenity Hacker December 15, 2009 at 4:37 am

    Hi Nik, what a great little method! Smiling really does put people at ease, and makes them comfortable, too. I like how you mention that we can get self-absorbed in thoughts or other things and forget to smile… that sometimes happens to me… but you can’t get that first moment, or impression back, so making the effort to be present, and smile sincerely, is worth it. Thanks! -Miche :)
    Miche – Serenity Hacker´s last blog ..Is Passion Necessary for a Meaningful Life? My ComLuv Profile

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    19 Amit Sodha - The Power Of Choice December 19, 2009 at 12:02 am

    Hey Karlil,

    It’s strange as in the past I too have felt that self consciousness or self absorbtion as you’ve put it and used similar methods to bring out the most loving natural smile! :-)
    Amit Sodha – The Power Of Choice´s last blog ..4 Years And 6 Key Lessons From Blogging My ComLuv Profile

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    20 Ralph December 20, 2009 at 7:35 pm

    Great technique! Another way to make your smile better is to smile slower. When you see someone let take them in with your eyes then let your smile slowly flood out.
    Ralph´s last blog ..The Ultimate Guide to Giving and Taking Constructive Criticism My ComLuv Profile

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    21 Madeleine December 22, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    Karlil, A good suggestion. A smile makes such an impression, and it’s hard to resist smiling back. I think it’s easier to smile with real pleasure as we get older, but maybe it’s just that I’m not as shy as I used to be when I was growing up.

    Happy New Year to you!

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    22 Steven December 24, 2009 at 12:56 pm

    Such simple advice, yet so elegant and true. A good way for introverts to get more out of their shell is to stare at the mirror for an extended period of time and make all sorts of faces. Do silly and goofy smiles, and then try to do cool and edgy smiles. Have fun with it.
    Steven´s last blog ..How To Do A True Act Of Kindness My ComLuv Profile

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    23 Hulbert December 27, 2009 at 1:45 am

    Hi Karlil. What an interesting post. I can totally relate to you on the subject and what it feels like to meet somebody for the first time. Sometimes it’s hard to pull off a sincere smile. I think you’re tip on remembering a past friend or crush that you had will help one become a lot more excited. Thanks for sharing this thought and writing this article. :)

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