The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses – behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights. – Muhammad Ali

Fight, fight, fight, the crowd chant.

Reluctantly, you drag your feet to the ring. Standing mightily inside, with a hateful gaze, the opponent eagerly awaits his prey. As you carry yourself through the rope, he starts rushing at you.

A rain of fists.

Little did you know that the gong has long sounded. The battle has long started. Before you await your destiny in the cold room. Before you hit the gym. Even before you run the miles.

Unfortunately, there is no KO in this ring.

The only way to get out of it is when the gong is sounded for the second time.

A battle for glory. A battle for honor. A battle for love. A battle for happiness.

It is a battle against oneself.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. - Mohandas Gandhi

For Gandhi, “they” is the British Imperialism.

For many of us however, “they” is none other than ourselves.

First you ignore your feelings, then you question your abilities, then you fight against your own plans.

Misery, pain, loneliness, hopelessness, discomfort, dream, faith, love, dignity, courage.

This is the ring of life.

Sometimes we will fall. Sometimes we will wish to give up.

But just like the boxers that came before us, we will get back up, and we will endure, and we will fight back, and we shall be victorious.

The goal?

To be a warrior. To be someone we can be proud of. To be victorious.

Those who live are those who fight. - Victor Hugo

Author’s Note: This is the first post in my 10 Personal Commandments series, inspired by Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project and Jeffrey Tang of The Art Of Great Things. In each post, I’ll share with you one of my personal commandments for living an awesome life.

Photo Credit: Polina Sergeva

So, you came up with a plan. It was great, a work of genius, a pure win. And even though you have all the resources needed, for some reason, it never seems to get past the planning stage.

Have you ever found yourself in this situation? Do you wonder why?

What went wrong?

Was it discipline? Perhaps.

Or maybe what you are really lacking is motivation.

1. Focus on your goal for a short period of time every day – Focusing on your goal for a short period of time everyday works great. As we are faced with distractions every day, this ritual can ensure the consistency we need in keeping our plan in check.

2. Make a list of your goal – Take a minute and write down your goals. Clarity is important in keeping yourself motivated. The clearer it is, the better. Make sure to place it somewhere visible where you can see it as often as possible.

3. Have fewer goals – Having too many goals, and you will find yourself overwhelmed and exhausted most of the time. If you want consistency, this is something you want to avoid. I am a firm advocate of having only 1 goal at any one time. This ensures maximum focus.

4. Work less, rest more – Getting things done is not about being hardworking. It’s about maintaining focus. The more focus you are, the faster you can get things done. The more rest you take, the less stress you will have, not to mention the more consistent you will get with your work.

5. Get a poster – That dream car, that lean body. Don’t just dream it. Get a poster and have it place in your room. Also get a desktop wallpaper if you often work with your computer. It works great for me.

6. Have a competitor – Nothing keeps you more motivated than having a competitor. Someone to challenge and push you to work. The competitor does not need to know nor do they have to be aware of your existence. As long as you can see them as a competitor, you will be able to fare better.

7. Tell your friends about your goal – Like it or not, most of us don’t take ourselves too seriously.  Having a goal easy. You can practically make a list of 10 in a minute. But what determines your success is not the awesome list you have in your hands but the determination to make it happen. By informing your friends of your goals, you can only mean business.

Anything you would like to add? What’s your best way in keeping yourself motivated? Kindly share at the comment section below.

If you liked this article, please bookmark it on del.icio.us, tweet or stumble it. I’d appreciate it. For more tips, make sure to subscribe if you haven’t already.

Photo Credit: Zach

What the f… I almost blurted out. It can’t be help if I did. I wasn’t prepared for this. It was at the men’s room in a shopping mall the other day that I witnessed a guy who shamelessly took pictures of himself.

One would think that it’s highly inappropriate to take self portrait pictures in public, much less the toilet, but clearly he begs to differ. And as if smirk is not enough, he decided to do pout lips. That’s probably going to Facebook, I thought to myself. I watched helplessly for a few more seconds before realizing it’s too much for me to handle.

That wasn’t the first time I got astounded by shameless acts some managed to pull off. A few months ago, while I was in a club, I saw a guy dancing in an awkward manner approaching groups of girls on the dance floor. While it’s obvious lady luck wasn’t particularly interested in him, and sure he wasn’t scoring, but that was not the point. He did what he came to do.

The happy idiots

One might say that they are dumb, shameless and ignorant, but I have to disagree. If anything, they are courageous to act on their wants and live in the moment instead of dwelling on opinions that do not matter, or consequences that barely have any effect on them. These are the people that gets it. A happy bunch.

We care too much

Yep, you heard me. We do. What would she think of me, would I get rejected, what would my friends say, yada yada yada. There are plenty of questions we can ask ourselves, but most never hit the mark. The real question, and the only question one should ask is, “do you want it, or not?”

The invisible chain

Pride, ego and image are nothing but chains that stop us from getting what we want. A distraction if you may. Do you realize that those who are simple minded are often happier than the smarter ones. These people often act on impulse, on what they feel. While it is often not encouraged, sometimes that is exactly what we need. If we need to analyze every little detail before we can put ourselves into action, then what about our feelings, our wants? How long do we plan to ignore it?

If you were to die today

If I were to die today, I would approach the pretty lady I bumped into in the bookstore and asked for her name. If I were to die today, I would give my ex girlfriend a call and asked her out for dinner. If I were to die today, I would let my father know that even though he never makes an effort to raise me, or get to know me, I don’t really hate him. But since I’m most probably not going to die today (I hope), I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing. And as time passed me by, my list of regrets gets longer. Sound familiar? What’s on your wish list that you plan on piling onto your regret list? Does it not worth the effort to make it happen?

In the world of their own

They see the world as how they want to see it. Most people do it the other way around. Isn’t it about time we start to learn from them? The world should always be how we come to view it. Has that really changed as we grew up? Or did we just let it happen?

Photo Credit: Falhaka

Have you ever wondered how far you can focus before the pressure is too much to handle? Do you know the true limit to your focus?

The lost fight

The year was 2002. I got into a fight with a friend I least expected with. And to cut the story short, I said the wrong thing, and I got pushed. In between his fist connecting to my face, there’s 3 seconds for me to make up my mind on the next course of action, but the only thing that came out back then was, “what’s going to happen next?” It goes without saying that the fight didn’t end up pretty for me.

Thinking back, the scene would be different if I decided to hurt and overpower him right from the start. I’m not saying it’s the right thing to do, but clearly I wasn’t focused. I know the fist is coming and yet I hesitated. The thought on the consequences of my action if I were to hit him first has certainly got the best of me.

The guided steps

Sometimes, we all get thrust into a situation where we did not anticipate. And even if we did, there are those moments where the pressure is too high for us to focus. Think public speaking, 100m sprint competition and the likes.

In normal circumstances, focus can be achieved provided you get rid of distractions. However, the same cannot be said when you are thrown into an unfamiliar zone. In this situation, you need something different, and hopefully this step by step process below can help you with exactly that.

1. Calm yourself – Often than not, most of us are too focus on the consequences of our action, competence or lack thereof. The habit of making assumptions can sometimes give us unnecessary pressure and results in our inability to focus on the moment. You can clear your thoughts, pressure and emotional states by closing your eyes, deep breathing and try to listen to your own heartbeat.

2. Don’t play to win – Winning is not about being number one. Nor was it about being the best. That is the mentality needed when you are practicing for the competition. When you are at the moment of truth, what you really want is only to do your best and that is all. Anything more and you end up hindering your true potential to unleash.

3. Find your focus point – In order to reach maximum focus, you would want to fixate your eyes to the finishing line or goal, and pay no attention to your surroundings. This is to avoid any distractions that may find its way to your mind. At this point, the mind needs to be empty from any unnecessary thoughts and emotions.

4. Smile – Many didn’t seem to know the wonder of putting up a smile in the face of mounting pressure. Well for one, it works great as a confirmation from the body to the mind that you are in control and everything is going to be ok. People often forget that life is for the most part, just a game and how well you play it depends on how you approach it. And like any other things in life, this is just another game. But unlike before, you are now playing it like a champion. So be sure to put up a smile even at the face of your terror.

While focusing is easy most of the time, getting to the point of ignoring any pressure, distractions and unnecessary emotional state of mind can be a hard task.

Though with that said, it is certainly rewarding. Once you managed to master true focus, you can easily overcome any fear that you may not have been able to before, like walking up to a stranger and get to know the person, for example.

Have you ever thought of escaping from all the work, miseries and troubles in life? Have you ever envied the dead?

For the past couple of days, I have been feeling tired. It was a bad month and there is way too much going on, which got me a little tired of living. I don’t hate my life, though I secretly do wish it ends for good. Before you get the wrong idea, I wasn’t having suicidal ideation, merely wishing my life to end in an unplanned accident.

This wasn’t the first time I’m having this thought.Thinking back, it all started when my younger brother passed away four years ago. On that day, seeing him laying lifeless on his deathbed, I wonder how nice would it be if it was me on the bed instead. He was my mother’s favorite son, and I had not been kind to him.

It’s just like sleeping, I thought to myself, only I don’t get to wake up. Well, it’s not as though I look forward to it. In the end of the day, isn’t life all about working on a job I will most likely hate, chasing after the illusion that money provides, surviving the month, paying bills and have the cycle continues?

I haven’t had this feeling for a long time though, well, not until a week ago. While I’m not sure if this is a normal feeling to have, I do know that if I left things as it is again, there will be more negative influences on my work and my surroundings than otherwise. I have learned my lesson.

Understanding the purpose behind the action

Simply put,the reasons to suicide for many have been to escape their problems, miseries and responsibilities. Though it is an easy way out, what suicide victims failed to understand is that they do not hate life itself. They only happen to get tired of theirs.

The beauty of life is that we all have a choice. If you happen to hate yours then change it. It may be hard, drastic, selfish and wrong, but as long as it brings a renewed purpose and strength to continue,  it’s the best choice to make. Suicide is after all, a coward and selfish act, no matter how one argues.

Finding the source to these negative thoughts

Sometimes, when you have too much going on in your life, it blurs the root cause to your problems, my problems in this case.

To find a solution to a problem, you must first identify the problem. I took some time to meditate and try to understand what I am facing, and I’ve come to realize that all I really want is to run away from the stress I have accumulated overtime. I haven’t had fun without worries for sometime now.

Solution

Take a break, have a vacation. Get a leave or fake a medical leave if you have to. Just do whatever it takes to regain your life back. Ignore the consequences, critiques and the naysayers as they are not as important as keeping your sanity in check.

We don’t live the life of others. Hate as they may and criticize as they wish, it shouldn’t affect you from doing what you want. If you choose to take a break or make any drastic changes, these opinions should be the last of your worries. After all, they are not going to commit suicide on your behalf are they?

As for me, I never really care what others think. I guess I’m selfish when it comes to doing what I want. Over the past few days, this is exactly what I have been doing. I enjoy myself to the fullest. I went shopping, read books and play without worrying about my work. During the period, I refuse to write, exercise, reply messages, e-mail and work. The discipline, commitment and consistency to my blog and my workout regimen are all thrown out of the window. This lasted exactly a week as I have planned. I never intend to rest more than a week.

To commit suicide is to merely run away from your work, miseries and troubles. The problem is, most of the feelings that you may have which resulted in having suicidal ideation are either short lasting or can be solved with having some courage to change or act a little different than the norm. Most of the time, all you really need is a good break from everything.

During the one week that I’m recuperating, I consider myself dead and I try my best to act like one. Someone without worries, right?

The system in which the world works can drive many crazy at times. If you are ever stuck on finding a solution to your problem, try to think out of the box for a change.

What I have learned from the break

You can never avoid the problems in your life. You can at most delay it, but never ran away from it. To solve a problem, you need to face the problem.

But you know what, it feels good knowing I have full control of my life once in a while. It feels great living a life free of expectations and commitments, although it lasted only for a short period of time.

Photo credit